Freedom
by Jack Robinson
Summary: Narcissa Malfoy dispises her husband, and longs for freedom. Her cold exterior means nobody can see her true feelings, save one man. But that man is not Lucius.
1. Default Chapter

_**Freedom**_

_Disclaimer: I, thankfully, own none of the characters in this story._

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**Chapter One**

A tall and elegant woman was standing at a large bay window of the manor, overlooking the extensive grounds. She traced a raindrop on its path down the pane. She looked out. It was grey and wet outside, but she could still make out ahead of her,the wood where she and her sisters had walked as little girls visiting the manor with their parents. That was a world away now. She rarely saw Bellatrix now. Andromeda never. To the west was the lake where she had had that first captivating walk with Lucius. Those bushes there were where she had tried to hide. Never then did she think she would end up mistress of this house… not then, the innocent girl she was. Over to the East lay the hills where she had watched the sunrise with Lucius, before they were married. Happier times.

Narcissa had been stood at a window of the Malfoy Manor for a long while, staring at everything, staring at nothing. Lonely. Sad. Lost in her memories. Time ceased to exist for her when alone, able to disappear in her own thoughts, no longer acting her part.

The door to the parlour where Narcissa was standing opened and a tall man with long fair hair entered. He coughed slightly and Narcissa turned around. It was her husband. Narcissa hardly blinked. She had not heard him arrive, but concealed with practiced perfection any surprise she might have felt at his sudden arrival after so long an absence.

"Lucius." She murmured, inclining her head slightly.

"Good afternoon, Narcissa." Lucius Malfoy replied with what seemed to be perfect indifference. He pulled out his wand and waved it at a silver bell standing on a table in the corner. The bell rang, and seconds later an elderly looking house elf appeared at the door, wheezing slightly.

He looked surprised at the sight of the man. "Dosky is sorry… Dosky did not know that Master had returned!" he said, bowing very low. His voice was croaky, and wispy white hair was growing out of his ears.

"Get me a large fire whisky, elf." He glanced at the elegant Narcissa who was staring back at him unblinkingly. "Narcissa will have one too."

Narcissa made a slight movement as if to protest, but she made no noise, and her husband ignored her. The elf departed, stepping out of the room backwards before closing the door.

"I am home a little earlier than I expected," said Lucius, sitting down in a large winged arm chair and gesturing for Narcissa to sit as well. "My master wishes for me to be in England at the present time, he no longer needs me in Bulgaria."

Narcissa said nothing, and Lucius looked at her.

"Well?" he said, angrily. "Are you not even pleased to see me? Will you make no comment on the return of your husband who you have not seen for three whole months?" His cold eyes bore into her. She smoothed her robes and turned her eyes to his face once more.

"Of course I am glad you are home, my darling." Narcissa replied, inwardly cursing herself for angering him so quickly after his return.

"Come and kiss me then." Ordered Lucius.

Narcissa obediently got up and went over to him. Leaning forward she placed a kiss lightly on his cheek. She made to move away, but he seized her around the waist, pulling her onto his lap and roughly pressed his mouth onto hers. Narcissa gasped, her eyes wide and scared. She struggled free, pulling her robes tighter around her as she did so.

"No, Lucius." She gasped. She was not ready for this yet. She had been expecting another month of freedom. She was not ready to have to please him again. He stood up too, towering over her, his face angry.

"You will deny me nothing." He growled.

"Your drinks, master," came the wheeze of Dosky from the door. Narcissa let out a barely concealed sigh of relief. Lucius strode over to the elf, seized the tray, and kicked him from the room. Narcissa heard something crack as Dosky hit the stone floor, and she flinched. Lucius saw.

"Just be glad I'm taking my anger out on him, not on you." he warned, before drinking his fire whisky in one go. Then he walked over to his wife, holding out the second glass. "Drink, Narcissa. To my happy return, we shall say, though you could show signs of being happier about it."

Narcissa made no move, and his eyes narrowed. He stepped right up to her, and pressed the glass to her mouth.

"Drink." He repeated, a threatening hint to his voice.

Narcissa took the glass and stepped back from him. She drank the fire whisky and stared coldly at Lucius. He smirked.

"There, that's better. I like having a little drink with my wife." He drawled, setting the glass down on a table. Narcissa said nothing, trying to ignore the burning in her throat.

"Now, Narcissa, come here."

'No, Lucius. Not now.' Narcissa hardly dared raise her voice above a whisper. Lucius ignored her, pulling off his traveling cloak and throwing it on the chair behind him. He stepped towards her, his eyes hungry.

'Lucius!' she said, louder this time. 'There are friends coming over tonight.'

'Ah, lovely. A welcome home party for me. In that case we'd better make it quick, hadn't we. I've missed my pretty little wife.'

Desperately, Narcissa backed away, but Lucius stepped after her. She took another step, but found she had hit the wall. Lucius' eyes glinted, and his hands reached out to her waist, pulling her to him, pressing himself against her, his hot breath on her cheek.

'You would not deny me the pleasure of my lovely wife now, would you, Narcissa?' he said, loosening her robes and kissing her neck and breasts. She struggled against his grip.

'Yes, I would!' she gasped, unable to pull away, but struggling with all her might.

Lucius paused. 'You would? Dear me, that will never do. What would people say if they heard that Mrs Malfoy was refusing her husband? Well, I suppose it would explain why you _still_ have not produced me an heir, even after three years of marriage.'

Lucius' eyes were angry again, and he pushed Narcissa up against the wall, his arms baring her escape.

'Or perhaps,' he continued, 'it is that you simply don't desire me as a husband? Perhaps your eyes have turned elsewhere while I have been away? I hope this is not so, Narcissa. You know I can find out.'

Narcissa stopped struggling in shock.

'How could you accuse me of such a thing! I could never - '

Lucius laughed coldly.

'That does not mean it has never crossed your mind, my pretty little wife. I shall have to question the elves very closely about your visitors. Now, kiss me Narcissa, I like you so much more when you're in a temper like this, I expect you're wonderful in bed if you're in a rage.'

He smirked, and Narcissa, without thinking of the consequences, drew back her hand and slapped him, hard, on the face.

Lucius reacted before she realized what she'd done. He seized her hair, pulling her head backwards until she gasped in pain.

'You shall _never_ do that again, Narcissa. And you know what I shall do to you if you disobey me.'

Narcissa whimpered, and fell limp. He caught her around the waist.

'Don't be so weak.' He snapped. She moaned, and he shook her, but she did not stand up. He threw her down in disgust. She hit the floor hard, and cried out. Lucius walked over to his chair again, and sat down.

'Very well, Narcissa, you may leave. I am far from satisfied, however. I am not pleased with you.'

He rang the bell again, ignoring his wife's sobs. Dosky appeared, limping slightly from his earlier injury.

'Oh, you're no good!' exclaimed Lucius. 'Tell your son to help Mrs Malfoy up to her room. And bring me another drink.' he added.

If Dosky showed any surprise at seeing his mistress, usually so elegant and poised, sobbing on the floor, her robes open at the neck, her hair loose, he didn't show it. He clicked his fingers and his son Dobby appeared a second later. The two of them helped Narcissa to her feet. She waved them away.

'I'm alright,' she said, making her way unsteadily to the door, not looking back at her husband, who was sitting moodily in his winged armchair.

'Dobby will help you to your room, Mistress.' said Dosky, before hurrying back to get Lucius a drink.

Dobby followed Narcissa up to her room, and opened the door for her.

'Dobby wants to know, is there anything Mistress desires?' Dobby looked very anxious. Narcissa collapsed onto her bed.

'There are a great many things I desire, Dobby,' she said thickly, her eyes red. 'And not one of those things is my husband.'

'Mistress must not say such things, Master would be angry.' Dobby said sadly.

'I know, Dobby.' Narcissa replied. 'I know that well enough.'

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_Coming soon: Narcissa's guests arrive, along with some more unexpected arrivals. _

_Please review and let me know what you think._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

Narcissa closed her eyes briefly, keeping her breathing calm. She must remain in control, in power. It was not like her to have broken down like that. She mustn't let it happen again. Her husband's return had taken her by surprise, but to look at Narcissa it was not possible to tell that just two hours ago she had been in complete disarray on the floor. Her face was porcelain, a long black evening gown on, her hair perfect once more. Guests were arriving, and Narcissa was greeting them as they came in the large front doors of the Manor.

Lucius stood by his wife, welcoming his guests. From time to time he glanced at Narcissa, as if wary of her behaviour, but she betrayed no hint of what had gone on between them earlier. Her face was a mask of perfection, and her manners impeccable. Lucius seemed satisfied, Narcissa noted, and allowed herself a small inward smile at her recovery.

The evening party was a select group. Narcissa had not been lying to her husband when she told him there were guests coming, but at the time she had only been counting on a small dinner party of eight. Lucius had upped the numbers on his return, inviting a number of 'colleagues from work' at the last minute. Lucius had not told his wife this, but her face did not flinch when more and more uninvited guests entered.

Narcissa estimated the numbers were now up to about twenty, and she turned to her husband to see if he would give any hint of how many more were expected. Lucius said nothing, and merely stared regally around at the milling guests. The doors were opened once more by the house elf Dosky, and three more men she did not know came into the room. Narcissa simply gave Dosky a nod, and he went off wordlessly to prepare more food. Narcissa turned to greet the newcomers. They were talking to Lucius. After a moment of talking in low tones, he said,

"And I don't believe you've met my wife, Narcissa?"

Narcissa gazed at them slightly haughtily, an expression often worn by her which gave others the impression that she was exceedingly proud or arrogant. Narcissa certainly had pride, but stronger was her Slytherin cunning, and her ways of dealing with people so as to achieve her own means. Normally, this was to keep people away from her, not to let people know her. A way of protecting herself. Lucius was staring at Narcissa expectantly, and she stepped forwards, offering her hand to the first of the three.

"Narcissa, this is Mr Rookwood, Mr Nott and Mr Avery."

The three men each inclined their heads.

"A pleasure to meet you all," said Narcissa, shaking their hands.

Avery narrowed his eyes at her. "You did not tell me your wife was so beautiful, Malfoy."

"What did you expect, surely you would not believe I'd marry any old dog?" Lucius sneered.

"No, of course not, Lucius," said Nott with a slight sneer. "She has all the Black good looks."

Narcissa said nothing, merely raised her eyebrows slightly, keeping her face blank from any anger she felt at being talked of in such a manner.

"Indeed," continued Avery, with a smirk. "Though she is more refined than her sister Bellatrix. What a fiery one that one is!"

Narcissa gazed coldly at Avery, disliking being talked about as if she were a specimen in a potions lab.

"And that other sister of hers..." Rookwood frowned, trying to remember.

Narcissa looked at Rookwood sharply, then glanced at her husband.

"Narcissa only has one sister."

Rookwood looked slightly confused, but Malfoy spoke again before he could ask any questions. "Shall we move into the dining room?"

Taking a deep breath, Narcissa turned and obediently took her husband's offered arm. Lucius too, knew how to act on these occasions. Narcissa was lost in thought, thinking about her unmentionable sister, Andromeda. Lucius forbade her name to be spoken by his wife, or by anyone in the Manor. She wondered how Lucius felt about the three men. Rookwood was unlikely to be in his favour at this point, having brought up the subject of the traitor Andromeda. All three had a look of cunning about them, Avery especially. Narcissa rarely knew which of Lucius' friends were actually Death Eaters, but she was sure Avery was. He and Lucius were so often in private conversation, sharing information.

Bringing herself back to the present, Narcissa straightened her back slightly, and walked among her guests, inviting them into the dining room to eat.

Narcissa was sitting next to her husband at dinner. It had been a long time since they'd last eaten together. She watched him for a moment, unaware of the conversations going on around her. There was no doubt that Lucius was attractive. Captivated by him at the age of seventeen Narcissa had thought marrying him would be an escape from her repressive home environment. As the last Black daughter remaining at home her parents had kept a tight hold on her. Bellatrix, forever wild, was out of their grasp, though in any case her parents were thoroughly supportive of what she was doing. Andromeda of course was an outcast, and their pretty little blonde Narcissa was all they had left. She had been encouraged to accept Lucius however. Such an advantageous match was the only thing that mattered to them it seemed. No matter that he didn't really love her, no matter that she didn't love him, he was a well respected pure blood. The Black blood would remain pure. Even for Narcissa the marriage had seemed perfect. Lucius was handsome, rich, and said he loved her. That feeling had only lasted until the wedding, and by then it was too late to go back. For the last three years Narcissa had felt the life in her drain away.

The lack of an heir was seen as a disaster for such pure blood families as the Blacks and Malfoys. Lucius felt it keenly, and constantly reminded his young wife of the shame she was causing him.

Confined to the Malfoy manner, (except on occasions when it suited her husband to take her with him), Narcissa was bored. When they had no guests there were only the elves for company. Narcissa's own friends bored her too. She had never had many friends, but the few she had made at Hogwarts were made simply because they, like Narcissa, were rich pure bloods with high ambitions. _Lucius'_ friends were mostly from the ministry, or else were working secretly for Lord Voldemort. They had no interest in her, and their wives were generally icy cold like Narcissa herself, and impossible to talk to.

It was these thoughts that filled Narcissa's mind during dinner. Nothing of her preoccupied mind showed on her face however. After years of Ministry parties and balls Narcissa was an expert at masking herself. She was able to make polite conversation, and do all the necessary things a hostess must, without even thinking about it. Her husband punished her severely for any lack of manners or inappropriate speech, and as a result, Narcissa closed herself up completely to the outside world. Anyone who talked to Narcissa was struck by her beauty, but always came away feeling cold. To some this gave the impression she was haughty and proud, and Narcissa let them think so.

Nobody could penetrate her mask. Only her husband, and this did not happen very often. That afternoon had been the first time she'd let it happen for a long time.

On cue as the last plate was taken by Dosky back to the kitchens, Narcissa stood up.

"Friends, I hope you have enjoyed your meal. My husband and I would now like to invite you into the ballroom."

Narcissa, playing the proper part of hostess, lead the two dozen or so guests out of the dining room and into the adjoining ballroom. The ballroom was huge, and at the far side there was no wall. One could simply walk down the ballroom, and then out into the grounds. Charms prevented cold air or rain entering the room, and this night, in midsummer, the grounds looked delightfully welcoming.

As the party entered, Narcissa waved her wand at the chandeliers, and the candles lit up, making light dance off the walls. Music started up softly, as though an invisible orchestra was surrounding them. Well aware that she and her husband were supposed to start the dancing, Narcissa cast around for Lucius. She spotted him talking darkly in a corner with Avery. She glided over to him, and waited a polite number of steps away. She could not hear what they were saying, and had a feeling they'd put an anti-eavesdropping spell around themselves.

Avery caught sight of her, and grinned. Waving his wand and muttering something (confirming Narcissa's suspicions about the anti-eavesdropping spell) he spoke to Lucius.

"Malfoy, it seems your delicious wife is waiting for you to dance with her."

He was talking to Lucius, but his dark eyes were taking in every inch of Narcissa's body. They lingered around her breasts for a moment, but snapped back to Lucius when he spoke.

"She can wait. This is more important, Avery."

"Oh, but Lucius, what a shame that would be. Don't let me be the cause of any impropriety at your dinner party." Avery bowed low, then backed away, giving Narcissa a smirk of a grin as he went. Narcissa walked up to her husband, who was hurriedly tucking some parchment into his robes. She could see he too was adjusting his face into a mask of composure.

"Very well, my dear, let us dance." he said. The couple walked out together to the middle of the dance floor, and their guests formed a circle around them. Lucius took one of his wife's hands, placed his other hand around her waist, and they began to dance. Both looked stunning, there was no denying it. Lucius could dance very well, but every man's eyes in the room were following Narcissa's body as it moved and swayed in time to the music.

Gradually more couples began to dance as well, and though it was only a small gathering - only twelve or so couples, Narcissa soon felt inconspicuous enough to ask her husband a question.

"Lucius, my darling, what were you talking about with Avery?"

Lucius' eyes were not looking at his wife, he was following the dancing of another woman, dancing with Nott, nearby.

"Nothing, Narcissa. It is no concern of yours. Why are you always so inquisitive?"

It was not a question. Narcissa said nothing, but kept her head high, refusing to look abashed.

"Look at all these other women, Narcissa.' Lucius continued. 'All these pretty women with their important husbands. Believe me, _they_ do not ask questions. They are pretty, polite, and obedient. _That_ is how a good wife should behave."

"I do try, Lucius," said Narcissa, in an airy voice, again, refusing to give into him and apologize or grovel.

"Then try harder." He growled.

The song ended and Lucius drew up his wife's hand to his lips, kissing it, sighing.

"You may be too inquisitive, Narcissa, and you may embarrass me sometimes, but you are still without a doubt the most beautiful woman I know."

He stepped closer to her and put his mouth to her ear.

"I am _greatly _looking forward to fucking you tonight."

Then he strode away without another glance. Narcissa, who had almost let her face go red, took a deep breath, congratulating herself on keeping up her mask. She had suspected as much of his plans for the evening, but this did nothing to stop her feeling of dread. Three, blissful months her husband had been away. Twelve wonderful weeks of no Lucius. There was nothing Narcissa dreaded more than sleeping with him. What she thought she used to desire was now torture.

Taking another deep breath and pulling herself together, she turned, and came face to face with Avery, who was leering hungrily at her.

'May I claim the next dance, Mrs Malfoy?' he asked.

Unwilling to comply, but aware that she must, or be considered rude, Narcissa nodded once to show her acceptance. The music started up again, and Avery stepped up to Narcissa, holding out a hand. She took it, and he lead her into position. As they began to dance he smirked down at her again. She could smell drink on his breath.

"Lucius is very lucky in his choice of wife - you are quite the most desirable woman I've ever set eyes on."

Narcissa gave no reply, she was trying to keep as far away from him as possible. She cast her eyes around for her husband, but he was nowhere to be seen.

"But you are so cold, Narcissa. Do you know the muggles in the village call you Ice woman?"

"It does not bother me, they are only muggles."

"True, true, but it bothers _me_ you see. I want to see you... in a passion."

He slid his hands down to below her waist, and moved closer to her so that their bodies were touching. His face was inches from hers. She tried to pull away but his grip was too strong.

"I envy Lucius, tonight." he muttered, pressing himself closer to her still.

A hand clamped down on Avery's shoulder and he jumped. For once, Narcissa was glad to see her husband.

"Avery? I'd like a word, if you please." Avery stepped away from Narcissa, bowing slightly, before following Lucius out of the room. She did not see him again for many months.

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_Thanks for reading, please review._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three**

Narcissa sat down, and Dobby immediately brought her a drink. She sipped at it, gazing around at the dancing couples, her face blank. Nothing in her expression hinted at what had just happened. It was strange, Narcissa almost felt a sense of gratitude towards her husband. She certainly felt she _ought _to feel grateful to him for rescuing her from Avery's rather foul leering, but part of her felt that ever familiar feeling that she was chained to Lucius. While he had been away the feeling had lessened somewhat, but now that her husband had returned she felt the emotion return and settle like a lump of lead in her stomach. She belonged to Lucius, and him alone. It was not only through her own choice that she was made untouchable.

Mentally shaking herself slightly, and reminding herself that she did not _want _men like Avery to touch her, Narcissa got up for fear of attracting attention from sitting down alone for too long. She danced with some other men, offered drinks, and when she felt too tired to do any more dancing and socializing Nacissa wondered down to the end of the room and out into the grounds. It was getting cold, but she didn't mind. She had felt far too hot in the ballroom. As she gazed out down the valley she saw a fairy flit from out of one of the trees. None of the muggles in the village ever noticed odd things about the manor, such as the fairy population, it was too heavily protected with anti-muggle charms.

Narcissa looked coldly down at the village in the distance. Narcissa hated the muggles. She mostly thought them stupid, and not worth her time, but in other ways she felt jealous of them – they had so much freedom. She was certainly jealous of Andromeda for what she did. She _hated_ Andromeda for what she did. How dare she go and live with muggles? It was a disgrace, a scandal, and yet... Andromeda had freedom. _Why_ were wizards so old fashioned? The wizards _she_ knew, anyway. Narcissa was pretty sure Ted Tonks did not mind that Andromeda asked him questions, or spoke before he did. She was sure Andromeda was allowed out of the house when she wanted, and she was sure Andromeda was still in contact with her friends... those wretched Potters, that Ruby Prewett, and Frank and Alice Longbottom.

Stopping herself from thinking thoughts that would break down her composure, Narcissa focused her attention on the fairy again, which had met a second. All she had to do was get through the last dance with Lucius, then the rest of the evening with him, and then she could sleep. She would be prepared this time, and nothing would break down her guard. She could act well. She would manage it.

Shutting her eyes, and making her face as blank as possible, she turned back towards the house. She stepped inside and Lucius immediately came over to her.

"Narcissa, my delicious little wife. I have sent Avery away, never to bother you again."

"Thank you, dearest husband, you are too kind to me. Is it time for the last dance?"

At every Malfoy dance the couple traditionally performed at the end of the evening. Lucius liked the tradition, he could dance well, and enjoyed showing Narcissa off. He smiled at his wife, his eyes glinting slightly.

"I am glad to see you are no longer going to be behaving so abysmally, Narcissa. Yes, it is indeed time for the last dance. I have requested of our invisible orchestra... 'la séduction de la demoiselle'."

Narcissa felt like her insides had turned to lead. 'la séduction de la demoiselle' was a dance of seduction. It was performed by two people, and quite frankly, was the not the dance she wanted to be performing when she was trying her hardest to keep up her icy exterior. Not a flicker of these thoughts showed on her face, however. Instead she replied,

"What a choice, for your first night back. I hope I perform up to your standards." she smiled slightly at him. He narrowed his eyes, staring at her for a moment before turning away, satisfied that she was being sincere. He swept off to inform the guests.

In no time at all Lucius was back, and taking her hand. The guests had formed a ring again. Narcissa caught sight of a handsome young man she couldn't remember being introduced to. He was staring at her, but not in the way men normally stared at Narcissa. He seemed to merely be curious, and slightly disdainful. He saw her looking at him, and did not smile, but tilted his head slightly, and raised his eyebrows.

"Impertinent man!" thought Narcissa, but promptly put him from her mind as the music for 'la séduction' began.

The two dancers start at opposite ends, gradually moving towards each other. For a tantalizingly long time the dancers are very close, but never touch. Beginning slowly, the dance sped up with each phrase. Narcissa cleared her head of emotion as she spun round and round Lucius, whose eyes were glinting in excitement. At the point of the dance where the two finally touch, Lucius reached up and pulled down Narcissa's hair, letting it flow behind her in long waves.

The dance built and built, Lucius' eyes never leaving Narcissa's face. In the climax the two are very close, the woman whirling round the man as he catches her, pulling her to him and getting what he desires.

The audience applauded when Lucius and Narcissa finished the dance, Lucius was panting slightly. Narcissa, who had the harder part to perform, was not even out of breath. Her face remained the colour of snow, her eyes cold, her hair still hanging loose down to her waist. Lucius turned to her and kissed her, in front of everyone, which earned him another cheer, loudest from the edge of the circle where Nott and Rookwood were standing, with some others Narcissa knew to be Death Eaters. Narcissa did not let any signs of embarrassment show on her face but kept her head held high, and dropped into a curtsey as her husband bowed. She had done it.

Not long after, the guests began to leave. Narcissa stood by the door, politely wishing them all goodnight. Those who congratulated her on the dance had tones of surprise in her voice. It seemed incredible to them that this cold young woman could perform such a thing, which required so much passion and energy.

The last guest stepped up to Narcissa. She recognised him at once as the man who had looked at her so strangely before the dance began. She didn't say anything, not knowing his name, and looked at him coldly. At her reception of him, the man laughed. Narcissa frowned.

"Someone's going to break through that mask of yours, eventually, you know." he said, before striding off, his cloak billowing out behind him.

Narcissa stood stunned for a moment. Who has this man?

She watched him walk to the edge of the anti-apparition barriers, then, with a crack, he was gone.

A minute later she felt her husbands arms slide around her waist from behind.

"Now, my sweet wife, no protesting tonight. You know what you owe me." he whispered. He turned her around to face him.

Every time she was put in this situation Narcissa had the same debate with herself. An easy life meant giving into Lucius. Giving him what he wanted. If she could keep her mask on he would never see her disgust and hatred of him.

If she did _not_ obey him, and refused him, things would be worse for her. The events of that very afternoon were brought back to her mind sharply. Narcissa knew she had to make some sacrifices. Tonight would just have to be one of them.

"My husband," she said, her voice low and as soft as silk. "How could I resist?"

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_  
Thanks for reading. Please drop me a review and let me know what you think._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four**

Narcissa was struggling against a rope that bound her, it cut into her wrists and around her ribs and chest, tighter and tighter it pulled. The harder Narcissa struggled, the tighter the rope became. A sudden gust of wind and the taste of salt on her tongue made Narcissa aware that she was on a ship. The ropes that rubbed her skin were binding her to a mast. Her hair was loose, blowing in her face, whipping her skin, her face was being battered by sea spray. Narcissa tugged again, in vain, trying to free herself from her bonds. A huge wave smacked against the side of the ship, coming over board and washing down the deck. Narcissa found herself suddenly on the floor, in agony, soaked to the skin. In front of her were a pair of boots. Craning her neck upwards she saw that they belonged to a man. He had long blond hair and was wearing a long black cloak. He carried a short staff that had a snake's head on it's tip. He was holding a knife, dripping with blood. All at once Narcissa realised it was her own blood. But he was not killing her, he had just set her free, the tatters of ropes that had held her a moment before were held in his hands. This was all wrong. Narcissa looked down at her hands and saw them dripping with blood, her blood. Her wrists were red and raw from the ropes. But then her saviour, this strange man with his fair hair and silvery grey eyes, was picking her up. To him she seemed as light as a new born bird. He supported her as they walked across the deck, and then he put his hands around her waist, lifting her up once more. They were now at the bow of the ship, below them Narcissa could see waves chopping angrily at the sides. The man lifted her high, and Narcissa realised with a sudden surge of horror what he was about to do. Struggling in vain she gasped as he threw her over the side of the ship. She seemed to fall slowly, backwards, gracefully. The last thing she saw of the man were his silver eyes, gazing down blankly at her as she fell, so softly, so slowly, almost as if in a dance towards the thundering waves below.

Panting and gasping for air Narcissa sat up in bed, clutching at the sheets and holding on to the oak bedstead behind her as if to convince herself that she was safe. Breathing more slowly, she relaxed, more accustomed to her surroundings, now realising that it had only been a dream. Soft light was falling into her bedroom, and as she cast her eyes around the room she remembered the night before. Turning sharply to the bed next to her she saw it was already empty. Narcissa slumped back down into bed and closed her eyes. He never stayed. Narcissa had never seen Lucius asleep, he never allowed it. The bed next to her was always cold by the time Narcissa woke up. Remembering only flashes of her dream, Narcissa realised with a jolt that those silver eyes had belonged to her husband… her own husband had thrown her overboard. Shutting her eyes tighter she willed herself to go back to sleep, forget the dream, forget her husband, leave her miserable life away with the world of the living. A timid knock came on the door and Dobby entered, carrying a tray with breakfast laid out on it.

"Would Mrs Malfoy like her breakfast served in bed, Mistress?" squeaked the house elf, his huge eyes seemingly full of pity as he surveyed his Mistress looking so distressed and unhappy. Something about the elf's pity irritated Narcissa, and she glared at the green canopy above her.

"No, Dobby, I shall eat in the breakfast room. Take that tray away at once, I do not need to be waited on as if I were sick and dying."

Dobby seemed a little taken aback. "Dobby thought Mistress was tired, Dobby is sorry if he intrudes wrongly."

"Yes, Dobby was wrong. Leave me alone." Narcissa replied, angry with Dobby but angrier with herself for letting her anger with the world show. It was not fair of her to take it out on the house elf, yet why shouldn't she? Was she not Mistress of the Malfoy Manor? Ignoring the conflicts within her Narcissa went into her dressing room to prepare herself for the day ahead.

Lucius was nowhere to be seen when Narcissa emerged downstairs, freshly dressed in flowing summer robes of white, her face a mask of cold politeness. Dosky appeared immediately, and pulled out a chair for her to sit on to eat her breakfast in the breakfast room. Narcissa sipped at her coffee, staring out of the windows to the extensive grounds outside. These windows faced away from the village, and the grounds stretched away as far as the eye could see over the hills. That way lead to freedom, away from the world, away from icy masks and fake smiles. Narcissa loved to walk alone in the hills, away from everything. It had been in those hills that she had believed herself to have fallen in love with Lucius. Narcissa gazed out at the summery meadows, remembering.

As a young girl of seventeen Narcissa had been invited with her parents and Bellatrix for the first time to dine at the Malfoy Manor. Her parents had been many times before of course, and Bellatrix a good few, and finally the honour had been extended to the youngest Black daughter as well. Narcissa had sat through the meal, prim and proper in her evening gown, feeling out of her depth with talk of politics and the rise of Dark Powers. In the middle of her last year at Hogwarts, she still felt she had very little to do with 'the real world' – her world was Hogwarts castle, the students, teachers, and her N.E.W.T.s. At this dinner party her mother had instructed her to simply stay quiet and look beautiful, both of which commands Narcissa had fulfilled with little difficulty. It had been a select party, and Narcissa had felt intimidated by the company. Lucius' father had died when Lucius was a young child, so it wasLucius hosting, a young bachelor with many admirers, some of whom were present, all elegant young women with fine clothes and jewels, simpering over him and his finery. Lucius was dashing and extremely handsome, but paid no attention to little Narcissa it seemed. She was of no concern to the powerful young male sitting at the head of the table. Lucius' mother, who had still been living at the time, had sat next to him, looking cold and proud, looking down haughtily at everyone. Narcissa was the youngest there, sitting quietly, talking to no-one. At the end of the meal she had slipped out, feeling stifled and went out alone into the quiet evening grounds. It was when she was walking alone beside the lake that she had seen Lucius coming towards her.

Narcissa had thought that he was taking a walk himself, wishing to be alone, and so instantly shrunk into the trees so as to avoid him, being slightly terrified of this striking young man who dominated everyone so, all the more terrified because of the attraction she felt at his strong masculinity and deep, penetrating eyes. However, the young Mr Malfoy it seemed was not hoping for a solitary walk. He stopped where he had seen Narcissa enter the trees by the lake, and called out her name softly, a slight drawl to his voice.

"Miss Black, do come out, I am not here with the intention of frightening you away into the bush."

Narcissa had blushed furiously, and stepped out shyly wishing she had had more sense than to try and hide. Lucius had stared down at her, not exactly smiling, but seemed to be laughing at her with his eyes. Narcissa had looked boldly up into his face, refusing to look too abashed. Lucius had laughed at her.

"You are a very pretty little girl, you know." Lucius had said, reaching out and brushing a blonde curl from Narcissa's face. At being called a little girl Narcissa wanted to turn around and stomp off at being so patronized, but knowing that this would only increase the 'little girl' image, she stood her ground, raising one fine eyebrow at him, challenging him to make further comment.

"Very well, I read you perfectly. You are a very fine _young woman_. Will you walk with me?" He was so charming and polite, and seemed in such earnest that Narcissa took his offered arm and together they continued the walk around the lake. He had not stayed with her long. His role as host demanded that he be not absent from the party for any length of time, and so after a short stroll he guided her back to the house."I suppose you find the company a little out of your depth, little Narcissa. I am sorry if you have found the evening a bore." Narcissa again was made slightly angry by the implication that she was still a child – even more so because of the accuracy of his comment. Smiling slightly she shook her head.

"The evening has been charming, Mr Malfoy."

"Please, call me Lucius." He reached out and took her hand, and pressed it for a moment to his mouth. "Thank you for our walk, little Narcissa." And then he was gone.

Narcissa opened her eyes, coming back to the present and taking another sip of coffee. She could just see the glimmer of the lake in the distance. Those had been happier days. That was the very day she felt herself fall in love with Lucius. She had laid awake that night, thinking of Lucius, and his soft kiss on her hand. How she had wished she were older. He had only considered a young girl. The mortification of it! Narcissa sighed. If only he _had _only considered her a child. If only she had never come to this Manor on that fateful day.

Pushing those thoughts away, Narcissa finished her breakfast and stood up, resolving at once to go out for a walk before her husband returned to keep her in. He was no doubt out on some business or other. There was no noise in the house except the distant movements of the elves cleaning after last night's party. Narcissa stepped outside into the early morning sunshine, feeling its rays on her face like a gift from the gods. Away, away from the house, away from Lucius she would go, and if only for a short while, she would have some freedom.

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_Thanks for reading, please review. _

_Coming soon: Chapter five - Lucius returns, with a proposition. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Walking back to the house, Narcissa could tell at once that Lucius was home. There was always more noise when her husband was around, house elves busy preparing his latest desires, his friends and acquaintances gliding in and out. Narcissa was feeling stronger now, calmer. Walking into the main hall she straightened her back, raised her chin haughtily and drew her wand out.

"Point me to Lucius" she said, and the wand spun to point in the direction of Lucius' study. Narcissa glided up the stairs and knocked briefly on his study door before entering.

Lucius and one other man were in the room, stooping over some papers on the desk. At Narcissa's entry the other man straightened up, and Narcissa recognised him as Rookwood. She stared at him. "Good morning." She said to them both. Lucius too, straightened up and vanished away the papers before Narcissa could see what was on them.

"Good morning, my dear. You remember Rookwood, of course." Rookwood was hurriedly pulling on gloves and his travelling cloak.

"Malfoy, I shall go at once. He will be waiting."

Lucius raised an eyebrow. "Don't let me keep you." He drawled. "But remember, Rookwood, I wrote those plans, and you would do well not to forget it."

Rookwood's face twitched slightly as though he was holding back a scowl and Lucius smiled. "We shall meet again, soon enough, my friend."

Rookwood did not reply but stepped up to the ornate marble fireplace and took some floo powder out of a bag in his pocket. He threw it into the grate, which immediately filled with roaring green flames. After a quick glance at Narcissa, he said clearly, "The Lestrages," and disappeared in a whirl of ash.

Lucius waved his wand at the clutter on his desk and it hurried to tidy itself away in his drawers. Then he stepped over to Narcissa. "I hope I find you well this morning, Narcissa?"

"Very well, my dear," she replied. Lucius stroked one finger down her cheek.

"Last night was simply wonderful, Narcissa. I had forgotten…" Narcissa looked up into her husband's face. Lucius bent down and kissed her lightly. To any outsider the pair would have looked perfect. Narcissa closed her eyes, glimpsing memories of herself and Lucius before they were married, when she had thought herself in love. Laughter and happiness had filled that time. Narcissa reached up and stroked her husband's hair, but as she looked into his grey eyes, she suddenly remembered her dream from the night before, and the way those cold merciless eyes had stared down at her as she fell. She drew back. Searching for something to say, she said

"Why is Rookwood visiting the Lestranges?"

"Oh, he has an issue of business with your sister… nothing your sister can't handle of course. In fact if I were you I'd be more worried for Rookwood." Lucius laughed. "_I _certainly wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of Bellatrix."

"Have you seen my sister recently?"

Lucius cast Narcissa a quick look before answering in an offhand tone, "Oh, fairly recently I suppose."

"And I trust your work is going well, Lucius, my darling?"

"Oh, all in the right direction…" He sighed. "The Dark Lord has plans beyond anything you can imagine, my pretty little flower." He kissed her once more, and then started walking towards the door. "Come, Narcissa, I have a suggestion."

Narcissa followed him out of his study. Lucius strode down the hall and up a flight of stairs. "We are very fortunate, Narcissa," began Lucius, turning around and waiting for Narcissa to catch up with him. They continued side by side. "As I say, we are very fortunate in our background. Both of us come from long, noble lines of wizards." Narcissa's heart fell. He was surely going to talk about their lack of an heir. To all pure blooded wizards the need to produce heirs was powerfully ingrained, it was seen as such a necessity to continue their line. She realised he had taken her into the portrait gallery and she looked up. Lucius was still talking. "And now of course, through us, the Blacks and the Malfoys have been united. What a powerful match." Lucius began walking down the gallery. He stopped at a painting ofa witch anda wizard with the Black family crest emblazened on their robes."Look, Narcissa. Your parents. How beautiful they are." Mr and Mrs Black in their flowing dress robes smiled smugly. Lucius turned around. "And over here, mine." A wizard and a witch both with Lucius' white blond hair gazed haughtily down at the pair.

"What, are you not going to call _us _beautiful too, Lucius?" asked the portrait of Lucius' mother. Lucius bowed gallantly to her.

"Mother, none could be more splendid." Lucius' mother beamed at him. "Except perhaps my own fine wife of course." He added, slinging an arm around Narcissa's slim waist. The portraits of Mr and Mrs Black smiled fondly down at their daughter.

"Tell me, my dear," Lucius said to his wife. "Is it not immortality that we all crave?" Both sets of parents looked at her expectantly. Narcissa couldn't bare it. She pulled away and walked further down the gallery, away from the watching eyes of their parents. At this end of the hall were older ancestors, mostly members of the Malfoy family that Narcissa didn't even know the names of. At the end of the gallery she pushed open the huge double doors and stepped out onto the landing. She did not wish Lucius to start berating her once more for the lack of a child. Not in there, of all places. Lucius caught up with her. "Why did you walk away from me, Narcissa?" He demanded. "What's wrong with you, are you not proud of all those ancestors?"

"Lucius, I - " Narcissa struggled to go on. She took a deep breath, reminding herself of her vow not to break down in front of him.

"Lucius, I simply did not wish you to bring up the subject of an heir in front of all our ancestors. It seems you love to humiliate me."

Lucius stared at her. Narcissa held her face impassive, wishing she had not let those last words slip out.

"Narcissa, I was not speaking of an heir." Narcissa raised one fine, challenging eyebrow at him. "No. And you needn't try and look at me like that." He drawled. "No Black can beat a Malfoy for haughtiness." He took a step towards her. "Though I must admit the expression makes you look all the more… desirable." He put his arms around her and kissed her, hard. Narcissa forced herself to kiss him back. She must not let any sign of her repulsion show. How could she not have realised before they were married that he only loved her for her beauty… her sexual appeal. How she wanted someone to understand her, to love her as a person, in her own right. She choked back a sob and clung to her husband as though he were the dearest thing to her in the world. Anything to cover the truth. Lucius' first night home had been proof enough of the way he would treat her should she seem unwilling.

The evening meal that night was a quiet affair, no guests had been invited and it was just Mr and Mrs Malfoy, alone at the end of their great oak table. When Dosky had finished serving the first course, Lucius put down his goblet of wine. "After all the fuss you kicked up this morning, Narcissa, I didn't actually get around to explaining my proposition. Though you can have no objection to it, I am sure. Not with your vanity." He smirked slightly. Narcissa said nothing, but took a small sip of wine. There was no point in arguing. If Lucius thought her vain, so be it. Her vanity was just one more mask from him.

"I would like to have our portraits painted. I already have an artist chosen. The Minister and his wife had theirs painted by the same man only last week, so I thought he might just be suitable for a Malfoy portrait." Lucius drawled.

"What a charming idea, Lucius. Of course, we can only have the best."

"My thoughts exactly, little flower. The man's name is Fenwick. He shall be here tomorrow afternoon. You will be here at three."

Narcissa nodded, submissive as usual to his demands. Portraits. She could deal with portraits. She should have guessed sooner that this is what her husband wanted. He had vanity enough, to be sure, to want to see a large painting of himself and his wife in their own portrait gallery. She went back to her meal, content that at least for the moment, neither her defects nor the subject of an heir was on her husband's mind.

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_Thank you for reading, and I hope you review._

_Coming soon: Chapter 6, in which we meet someone already talked of, and someone new. _


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

It was with a heavy heart that Narcissa ate her breakfast the following morning. She felt so stifled by Lucius. All night she had been tossing and turning, unable to relax and fall asleep. It was simply impossible to go on living like this. She could not live with a man she did not love, who was so cruel and so dominating. How she had managed for three years already Narcissa could only wonder at. She supposed that she must be finding it particularly difficult after his being away for so long. She had had a glimpse of life without Lucius, which made going back to living with him so hard.

As Narcissa was finishing her breakfast an owl swooped down through the open window. The great eagle owl landed on the table beside her, and held out its leg in a most regal fashion. Narcissa recognised the spiky, blood red handwriting at once. It was from her sister. Bellatrix did not often write to Narcissa; Narcissa knew that her elder sister thought her rather insignificant and not very intelligent. Narcissa had merely married a powerful man, done her duty and kept the pure blood undiluted. Bellatrix on the other hand was in the thick of the action, fighting with other pure bloods for their beliefs and working for the Dark Lord. It was rare that Bellatrix paid her little sister any attention.

Narcissa curiously unfolded and read the note. It was very short.

_My dearest Cissy,_

_I would be most happy to see you this morning if you would grace me with a visit. Just a little sisterly get-together._

_My fondest regards to you and Lucius,_

_Bella_

A faint flicker of a smile darted across Narcissa's cold face, amused as she was by Bellatrix's false declarations of sisterly affection. Still, Narcissa was curious about what Bellatrix wanted and not at all unwilling to leave the manor for a while.

Bellatrix and her husband lived, like the Malfoys, in a large manor. Though the Malfoy manor was large, grey and imposing, the Lestranges' was nothing short of terrifying. No muggle ever approached anywhere near the dwelling of Bellatrix and Redolphus. Narcissa and Lucius had protected their manor with anti-muggle charms, the sort which prevented stray muggles stumbling upon the house unwanted. Bellatrix on the other hand did not mind muggles coming. The area was so thick with the dark arts that any non-magic person so foolish enough as to try and approach would probably come out again unrecognisable. Bellatrix enjoyed the sport, something Narcissa didn't quite understand, but then, she'd never had the same sadistic side as the eldest of the Black sisters.

Queen of composure, Narcissa did not even stumble as she arrived by floo at the Lestranges' grate. She stepped neatly out into their hall and took out her wand to vanish away the soot which had found its way onto her flowing white robes. She was in the front hall of her sister's house, it was dark stone, and had very little light. Long red velvet curtains hung at the few windows, and brackets on the walls held lit torches, even though it was the morning. Sinister looking portraits lined the walls, and when Narcissa arrived a painting of a little girl in a pale pink dress who looked rather out of place in the sinister gloom, ran out of her frame and along the line of paintings on the wall.

Narcissa walked up the hall, and gazed out of the window. The mansion was set in some woods. Gloomy, dark woods that no traveller would want to be lost in.

In only a few moments Narcissa saw the little girl from the painting arrive back in her frame, panting slightly. This was followed almost immediately by the entry of Narcissa's sister, Bellatrix.

"Cissy my darling, it has been so long." Bellatrix walked across the room to where Narcissa was standing, her hips swaying elegantly in her long clinging robes of blood red. Narcissa's grey eyes met Bellatrix's heavy lidded black ones as they took one another in. Narcissa was one of the few people not afraid of Bellatrix. It wasn't that she did not believe Bellatrix capable of cruelty, for that would be extremely naïve. Nor was it that she thought she was safe from Bellatrix. Family certainly meant something, but Narcissa knew Bellatrix would not hesitate to harm Narcissa if she acted against her. It was more that Narcissa understood her sister, knew her ways and how she would react to things. In this sinister mansion most people would have been afraid to hold a private audience with the powerful witch who was now taking Narcissa's arm. Narcissa merely sighed.

"Bella, I do wish you'd let some light in. You live in such an unpleasant environment."

Bellatrix laughed. "You always know how to pay a compliment, Narcissa. But you know I like it like this. And I do love making people simply _terrified _to meet me." They were passing the painting of the little girl when Bellatrix turned to it suddenly. The girl shrank back as though trying to make herself small and insignificant. Bellatrix laughed. "Ooh, you're a good little girl. Now, you make sure you come and get me if anyone else calls, won't you, my pretty little thing." The girl nodded frantically and Bellatrix smiled. "Good." The two sisters continued towards the door. Just as they were reaching it Bellatrix pointed her wand over her shoulder Narcissa heard a crack issue from it and a scream from the little girl. "Just teaching her her place," smiled Bellatrix, evilly.

"Oh, indeed?" asked Narcissa, "And is she a new acquisition?"

"She is. She was a charming little muggle girl from the town. Ah, such a shame to loose one's parents when walking in the woods. And she had such a beautiful angelic little face too." Bellatrix made as if to wipe a tear from her cheek. "Such a shame that I had to destroy it."

They were seated in the dining room eating lunch when Redolphus entered the room. "Aah, Redolphus, you have returned." Bellatrix got up from her seat and glided over to the man who had just entered the room, who was pulling off his hooded cloak. He nodded in acknowledgement to Narcissa, and sank down onto a chair. He was dirty, and had a long cut down the side of his face that was oozing blood.

"I'm exhausted, Bella." He said.

Bellatrix sat on his lap and kissed him. "Oh my poor dear… your darling Bella will take care of you. And what have you done to your face?" She traced down the cut with one of her long, sharp nails. Redolphus closed his eyes and groaned. Bellatrix flicked her nail and sent droplets of blood across her husband's cheek. "I am talking with my sister at the moment, Redolphus, but I shall soon be ready for our task this afternoon." Redolphus opened his eyes lazily and nodded. Bellatrix delicately licked the finger with her husband's blood on it, kissed him once more, then stood up. "Narcissa, let us walk. I have something I wanted to ask you."

They walked in silence for a while, wending their way through the woods outside. It was not until they were some distance from the house that Bellatrix spoke.

"Cissy, I shall be blunt. I wanted to ask if you knew anything of Andromeda."

Narcissa stopped in her tracks. They never mentioned their sister. The middle of the three Black sisters was an outcast. Her name was never spoken by any of them. Bellatrix stopped too, and turned to her sister. Narcissa found her voice.

"You know I don't. None of us is in contact with her."

Bellatrix narrowed her eyes slightly and stepped towards Narcissa. They made a striking couple. Both were tall, slim, beautiful, but Bellatrix was dark: her hair, eyes, even her long flowing robes all spoke of darkness and the night. Narcissa was white and icy cold. Bellatrix reached up and touched her sister's face. "You were always so beautiful, little Cissy." Narcissa said nothing. "You know you are. Everyone knows you are. But you are so cold. Even Lucius says so." Narcissa frowned slightly, but still did not speak. "I wish you would open up to me. You know you can trust me. We may have done different things with our lives but we still remain the best of sisters and friends, do we not?" Bellatrix seemed to be waiting for an answer.

"I hope so, Bella."

Bellatrix sighed, and drew Narcissa to her. "There are good days ahead for our kind, Cissy. With the Dark Lord getting stronger and stronger, nothing will stand in the way. He shall lead us all to victory."

Narcissa spoke. "Why do you ask about Andromeda?"

Bellatrix paused. "We have recently found out that our wretched sister has joined none other than the Order of the Phoenix." Bellatrix seemed to seethe suddenly with anger. "Not only has the fool and traitor left the family and all her pride behind her, she is now actively working against us! I cannot believe it! It seems she has followed in the path of our cousin, Sirius. Only now do I think I can really appreciate the shame that his parents and brother went through. It is a disgrace, and she must pay for it." Bellatrix sent a jet of blue light at a bird that was watching them from a nearby branch and it exploded.

Narcissa remained composed, but inside she was angry too. She was angry with Andromeda for joining the Order, as Bellatrix was. To be fighting against your own family – she didn't think Andromeda would go that far. But Narcissa was also angry with herself for feeling, just for a fleeting second, a stab of jealousy at what Andromeda had done. It was so like Andromeda to do as she wished, running away, marrying a muggle, being friends with 'the wrong sort', and now she had done the ultimate and joined forces with the enemy. However, there was still something Narcissa did not understand.

"Why did you think I would know anything of her?" she asked her sister.

"I didn't think you would. But you were always closer to her than I was. I just thought you might know something. Her address… her husband… does she have any children? I don't know these things." Bella sounded bitter and regretful. To most people this might make it sound like she regretted not being on better terms with her sister. Narcissa knew Bellatrix only regretted not knowing these things because it meant Andromeda would be harder to find. Harder to kill.

"I know nothing." Narcissa was glad of it, too. She did not want to be responsible for the death of her sister. "Bellatrix, I must leave. I told Lucius I would be back…"

"Well of course you must go, my darling Cissy. I wouldn't want to be responsible for keeping Lucius waiting." Bellatrix smirked. "We shall see each other soon, I expect, Narcissa."

Narcissa apparated back to the grounds of the Malfoy manor, still deep in thought about Andromeda. She wondered where her sister was, and what she was doing. It was only when she was in the parlour where Lucius had said to meet the artist that she realised the artist was already there. Narcissa gave a start. The man standing with her husband was the same man she had seen at the party who had looked at her so strangely. She was sure of it. Those penetrating dark eyes were recognisable on anyone. Lucius stepped forward.

"Narcissa, this is Mr Benjy Fenwick."

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_Thank you for reading, please send me a review._

_Coming soon: The artist begins his work_


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr Fenwick." Narcissa shook his hand, careful to keep her face blank as she met his eyes.

"The pleasure's all mine, Mrs Malfoy." He replied. Again he was looking at her with that searching, critical gaze. He had dark brown eyes set in a remarkably handsome face. He held her gaze for a second until Narcissa pulled away, unsure what to make of this man. There had been something strange about his appearance at the party. She had not been introduced to him then, which was odd, as she had thought she had seen all the guests arrive. Come to think of it, she didn't think she remembered him from the dinner either. Lucius interrupted her train of thoughts.

"Narcissa, Mr Fenwick wishes to begin painting at once. He has asked me that we change into whichever of our robes we would like to be painted in."

Narcissa nodded and looked at Benjy Fenwick. "Of course, Mr Fenwick. May I offer you some refreshment while you wait?"

"No, thank you, Mrs Malfoy, I shall simply begin setting up my canvas."

"Of course," said Lucius. "If you need any assistance the elves are at your service." He flicked his wand and with a snap Dosky appeared, wincing and cradling an arm that looked twisted out of joint. Benjy Fenwick raised his eyebrows slightly.

"You are too kind, Mr Malfoy." A touch of irony was just noticeable in his voice. Narcissa felt a twinge of shame in her husband, a feeling she rarely felt as Lucius was so respected among the society they kept at the Malfoy manor.

"Come, Narcissa." Lucius commanded, and Narcissa followed him out of the room, making herself look straight ahead and not glance back at Mr Fenwick.

Narcissa's personal house elf, Dot, had already laid out the robes Narcissa was to wear in the portrait. They were black, with green edging. Always one for tradition, Narcissa thought, it was so like Lucius to choose colours that matched both the Malfoy family crest and the Slytherin colours at Hogwarts that they had both worn. Narcissa's robes were rather like an evening gown in appearance. Tight fitting to the waist, making Narcissa gasp slightly as Dot laced up the back for her. The robes had a regal look about them, thought Narcissa as she assessed herself in the mirror. Her face remained cold and unsmiling as she applied her makeup with her wand, while Dot did up her long blonde hair in twists and curls. In less than ten minutes Narcissa was ready, and walked to the top of the stair case. Lucius was already waiting for her at the bottom. He looked up at her and Narcissa noticed that he sucked in his breath when he saw her. Something in Narcissa was grimly pleased that she still had some influence over her husband's feelings. He watched her walk down the stairs, her head held high, her whole poise speaking of elegance.

Lucius' robes matched Narcissa's in colour but had a high, imposing collar which made him look even haughtier and more proud than usual. He stepped up to his wife and drew her to him so that their foreheads touched. He closed his eyes as he ran his hands down her body, tracing the curves of her breasts, waist and hips. Dressed in the corseted robes, Lucius' hands almost reached right around Narcissa's waist.

"You are beautiful, Narcissa." He said, as he opened his eyes. Narcissa remained unresponsive, not reacting to his touch at all.

"Mr Fenwick will be waiting, Lucius."

Lucius seemed slightly irritated by the mention of the artist. "Yes, of course." He said, shortly.

Narcissa glided past him and walked towards the parlour door, but then hung back and let Lucius go in first. She felt suddenly shy of the artist. Shaking herself slightly Narcissa reminded herself to remain composed and poised, and walked in too, her chin held high. She did not even look at Benjy Fenwick, but glided over to where Lucius was standing and took her place next to him. Only then did she allow herself a glance at the artist, and was inwardly outraged to see that he was smirking slightly. Narcissa felt oddly exposed by his behaviour. She was so conditioned to believe that people would be slightly awed by her presence that to find one who seemed to be slightly mocking of the Malfoys shook her more than she would have expected.

Benjy Fenwick finished adjusting his easel and walked over to them. "With your permission I would like to arrange you for the painting." Lucius nodded his assent. "Excellent." Said the artist. He seemed to consider for a minute, his deep eyes taking in their stance, their faces. "Mrs Malfoy would you step slightly nearer your husband?" Narcissa obediently moved. "And Mr Malfoy, if you would turn slightly so you are facing Mrs Malfoy a little more?" Lucius shifted his position, and Benjy frowned. "Mrs Malfoy would you do the same?" He considered. "No, it is not natural. Go back to how you were."

He spent some time instructing them, adjusting an angle here, an arm there, stepping back every now and then to assess the whole. He spoke to them as he worked. "You understand, once the painting is finished, your paintings will be free to move around of course. The reason I am having to arrange you so carefully is so that the painting will capture… your very essence." He had particular trouble with Narcissa. "Turn your body to face Mr Malfoy, please, yes." He stepped back. "Could you try looking in this direction? – no, no, that doesn't work. Try over here. And bring your arm round slightly? No, like this," and he reached out to move her arm. At his touch Narcissa gasped ever so slightly, and Lucius frowned. Benjy ignored him, and reached up and with a gentle touch on Narcissa's chin moved her face around to look towards the front, away from Lucius. She caught the artist's gaze, almost by accident as she had previously been working to avoid it, and their eyes locked. Narcissa's face remained porcelain and expressionless but she read in Benji Fenwick's eyes first deep curiosity and then something that resembled shock. He looked quickly away, removing his hand from her face.

"That will do." He said, and moved back towards his canvas. "I estimate I will need three sittings from you, in order to complete the painting. I hope this suits you?" He spoke to Lucius, not looking at Narcissa at all.

"Yes, yes, we are quite happy with that arrangement." Lucius replied carelessly.

"Good. Then I shall begin."

Narcissa felt deeply uncomfortable as Mr Fenwick started his work. Why had he looked at her like that? So deeply, it was as if he saw everything… and yet… She noticed that Benjy Fenwick was looking at her as he moved his wand with great precision over his canvas. She felt naked in front of him, defenceless. Why had he seemed so shocked, of all things?

Narcissa did not know how long she and Lucius were stood before the artist during that first sitting. All her thoughts were fixed on the man in front of her as he worked. What he had seen in her Narcissa was afraid to think about. Something about this man pulled her, drew her in. She was angry with herself for even caring what he thought.

At last Benjy stood back and sighed. "That will be all for today, Mr and Mrs Malfoy."

Lucius nodded, then stepped forwards towards the canvas. Benjy tapped it smartly with his wand and it instantly shrank in size and folded itself up so that it resembled a small envelope. "I shall only show you the finished painting, Mr Malfoy." He said as he pocketed it. Lucius frowned.

"Very well. We shall see you soon, I hope, Mr Fenwick." He turned around. "Narcissa, I have some business to attend to. I shall see you at dinner." He strode out of the room without a backward glance, his cloak billowing behind him, his boots echoing loudly on the stone hall floor.

Narcissa was trying desperately to gain some composure. The sound of her husband's boots was fading, and she felt very alone and exposed with the artist. He was looking at her, an unreadable expression on his face. Narcissa found she could not meet his eye. She wanted to speak to him, but was terrified to do so. He took a step towards her, then seemed to change his mind and instead picked up his cloak and turned towards the door. He was nearly at it when Narcissa blurted out "What was it?" He stopped, but did not turn around. Narcissa, shocked at her own outburst, felt her heart beating fast. "What… what did you see?" she whispered.

Benjy turned around slowly, his dark eyes fixing Narcissa's face once more. She could not bare it, but she could not tear herself away. He walked towards her. He seemed to know exactly what she had been asking. "I saw in your face, Mrs Malfoy, emotions that I… did not expect." Narcissa felt herself almost trembling. She was usually so composed, so calm, so cold, yet here she was completely weak in front of this man. She mustered all her strength and made herself stand a little taller. She was a Black, and a Malfoy, and she was not going to be intimidated.

"Indeed. For – forgive my asking. I had merely been curious." 'Curious' was a wild understatement, thought Narcissa. Benjy Fenwick took a step nearer Mrs Malfoy.

"Why do you do it?" He asked. "Why do you closet yourself in so much? You never show yourself to the world." He seemed almost sad at this point, and Narcissa turned away and walked to the large windows overlooking the grounds. How dare he ask her such a question! Narcissa was shocked, and yet… how did he even know? Nobody knew what Narcissa felt.

She could almost feel his eyes watching her. After a minute he spoke again.

"I am sorry, Mrs Malfoy, that I had formed so wrong an opinion of you." Narcissa did not turn around. She did not trust herself to speak. "I had thought you cold and proud. Like most people think of you." He stopped for a moment, as if collecting his thoughts. "I knew that you did not show people the real you, but I had no idea that your life is so full of… of sadness."

Gazing out at the sunny grounds she felt a tear fall down her cheek.

"I am sorry." He repeated. A minute later Narcissa heard the swish of his cloak and the light falls of his feet as he departed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Lucius was entertaining the following day. 'Entertaining' usually meant he had some important guests that he wanted to bribe, blackmail, intimidate or impress. Narcissa sat quietly at dinner while her husband talked of politics to Cuthbert Mockridge and Barnabas Cuffe. He really did have a talent, thought Narcissa, of making himself appear in complete agreement with people he detested. Lucius Malfoy could get on with anyone. Cuthbert Mockridge, who worked in the Goblin Liason office at the Ministry of Magic, was an intensely dull man, who was talking of the clashes the Ministry was having with the Brotherhood of Goblins, the Goblins' rights group. It was not gripping conversation. Barnabas Cuffe, who had recently become the editor of the Daily Prophet, was holding back a yawn with some difficulty.

"So you see," went on Mockridge, "the goblins feel there is really no-one else they can turn to. They feel the B.O.G are just not doing enough."

Lucius raised his eyebrows. "Well of course, we have all heard rumours that He-who-must-not-be-named, is offering the goblins higher rewards."

Narcissa's eyes flicked to her husbands' sharply. Barnabas Cuffe sat up straighter in his chair. Mockridge seemed slightly taken aback.

"Well… well, quite. Of course. That is quite the issue, Malfoy. We must find ways of offering the goblins what they want so that they do not turn to that particular path that you have just... er… mentioned."

Lucius gave an odd sort of smile. "No indeed." He turned to Barnabas Cuffe. "And Mr Cuffe, what is your opinion of the B.O.G? I do so want to hear it from your perspective."

Narcissa relaxed again. She knew Lucius loved to play dangerously. There had been many suspicions about the Malfoy family with regards to Lord Voldemort, but so far her husband's position as a Death Eater was unknown. Mentioning the Dark Lord, if only in passing, was very risky, especially right in front of the editor of the Daily Prophet.

It was difficult to concentrate on the conversation. Narcissa knew she should appear interested, but her mind was completely taken up with thoughts of Benjy Fenwick. Quite simply, Narcissa was verging on panic. Mr Fenwick had looked at her in a way that nobody had ever looked at her before. He had spoken to her (in such a bold manner too) in a way that made her tremble. She was terrified of him. She was so used to having a front, having a mask that no-one could see through that to meet someone who instantly saw her feelings unnerved her completely. It was only when she heard the scrapping of chairs around her that she realized they had finished eating, and that the men were leaving. Lucius was offering Barnabas Cuffe some floo powder. He took some and turned to Narcissa.

"Thank you, Mr and Mrs Malfoy, it has been a delightful evening with you both, I am sorry to have to leave so soon."

"It _is _such a shame you're being worked so hard. It's a disgrace, these days, that a man can't work when he wants." Lucius heaved a sigh and gazed around at the luxury of his manor that stated clearly that Lucius could work exactly when he wanted. "I hope we see you again soon, Mr Cuffe." Mr Cuffe nodded curtly and with a flare of green flames was gone.

"Now, Mr Mockridge." Lucius turned to Mr Mockridge with a slightly twisted smile. Narcissa watched warily. "I was so interested in what you were saying about the Dark Lord." Mockridge spluttered slightly.

"What… what _I _was saying, Mr Malfoy?"

"Yes indeed, were you not saying that you thought the Dark Lord was offering the goblins rewards and rights beyond their wildest dreams?"

"Oh, well… I… I had _heard _that… that is not to say that I think…" He trailed off.

Narcissa saw the smallest flick from Lucius' wand.

"But you understand of course that the best course of action for these dissatisfied goblins is to join forces with the Dark Lord and his followers?" Lucius questioned, eying Mockridge intently.

"But of course, Oh, I understand, Mr Malfoy, I understand." Mockridge suddenly seemed relieved. "Yes indeed, indeed."

Lucius raised an eyebrow. "And so you will inform the goblins that I have answers for them, and can point them in the right direction, so to speak?"

Mockridge seemed positively jovial now. "Oh of course, my dear man, where else! I shall tell them all!"

Lucius held up a warning hand. "Now, now, you wouldn't want everyone to know that though, would you. If people thought you were involved with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, they might not think you fit for your job now would they?"

"Oh, but of course, of course!" spluttered Mockridge. "Anything you say, Mr Mafloy, anything you say."

The darker side of Narcissa was amused by her husbands games. Today she was simply tired of it. She turned and went out of the room. She knew Lucius would not have as much fun bewitching Mr Mockridge without an audience, but today she did not care. All her thoughts were directed towards Mr Fenwick. They were to have their second sitting the following morning. Narcissa was dreading it, and longing for it. She was doing well to keep her emotions from Lucius, she thought, as she went into the parlour. He was normally fairly perceptive, but had noticed nothing as of yet.

The Malfoy's parlour was large, and ostentatiously decorated like most of the manor. Narcissa settled into one of the plush armchairs and gazed at the empty grate. A moment later she noticed a light dusting of ash fall down into the it, and heard the distant whoosh that meant Mr Mockridge was departing. She sighed. Lucius was so influential. She knew most women in her circle envied her such a powerful husband. Narcissa felt she would do anything to be with someone far less significant.

She noticed a folded piece of parchment on the table in front of her and recognized her sister's writing. She unfolded it curiously, and read. It was a note to her husband.

_Lucius, _

_We are holding a little party here on Friday and would be delighted if you could come, it just wouldn't be the same without you. Bring Narcissa too of course. It will just be a select gathering, you know I never invite any riffraff. _

_Yours,_

_Bella_

Narcissa gazed blankly at it for a moment, unsure what to think. She knew that Bellatrix did not think particularly highly of her, and that by contrast she rather respected Lucius, but Narcissa felt slightly humiliated that Bellatrix had invited Lucius, without addressing her sister as well. She did not have long to ponder on the subject, for at that moment Lucius himself walked in. He was looking particularly smug, obviously because of his triumph over Mockridge.

"Excellent, Narcissa, excellent." He walked over, and then realized that she was reading the letter from Bellatrix. "Ah yes, the invitation from your sister. I forgot to mention it." Narcissa said nothing. Lucius changed the subject. "Did you not think Cuffe a rather interesting man?" He asked his wife.

"What are your intentions with him, Lucius?" Asked Narcissa. "Surely the Prophet will never be writing stories that help… the cause."

"No. Of course not. It is too tied in with the Ministry for that. No…" Lucius looked thoughtful. "It is more that I hope to be able to place some… misleading stories in the press. Help those idiots to point themselves in the wrong direction. We have had too many close calls here. I must keep our name protected. Which reminds me, Narcissa, have you made an appearance at the St Mungo's Charity Ladies' society yet this month?"

"Yes, I attended their meeting a fortnight ago. And the Wizard Orphans' Trust lunch last week. The name Malfoy is associated with just about every good cause in Britain, Lucius, never fear."

"You are too good, Narcissa. I hope you donate generously?" Lucius drawled. "We only want the best impression of the family."

"But of course."

"Good." Lucius stepped closer and Narcissa tensed slightly. She did not want Lucius near her when she was feeling so emotionally fragile. "There are great times ahead, Narcissa." Lucius had a slightly manic glint in his eyes. "The Dark Lord has such an army now… the giants, the dementors. And I hope to be able to provide him soon with goblins, as you heard. Nothing will stand in our way." Lucius put his arms around Narcissa's waist. "Purebloods will finally dominate. He will reward those who have been true. All others will be slaves… and soon… soon he will have gathered enough strength to attack the school. And that fool Dumbledore will be no more." Narcissa shivered slightly. "Yes," went on Lucius. "It is deliciously exciting, isn't it?"

"Lucius, I - " but Lucius interrupted her. "Come now, Narcissa, you have been excessively moody in the last few days. Where is the old Narcissa?" He kissed her, pressing her to him and she gasped slightly as she gave in. It was too dangerous to refuse.

Two hours later Narcissa and Lucius were once more standing before the artist as he painted, absorbed by his work. Narcissa could feel her husband's eyes on her and it made her nervous, as though being in the presence of Benjy was some sort of a betrayal. They had not spoken much during the last sitting, but this time it seemed Lucius wanted to find out a little more about the man he had employed.

"So tell me Mr Fenwick, how long have you been in this profession?"

Benjy did not answer immediately as he was concentrating on the tip of his wand from which paint was coming out. Once he had finished a particular stroke he replied while considering his canvas.

"I began training after leaving Hogwarts… and I have been painting independently now for about five years." He went back to his work.

"And I hear you paint many… influential wizards?" Lucius inquired, a nonchalant tone to his voice, though Narcissa knew he was hoping to find out that the man was worthy of the Malfoys.

"I do not boast about the subjects of my paintings, Mr Malfoy. I feel the quality of the painting is what matters more than the subject matter."

Lucius did not appear at all pleased with this answer. He did not frown, but his face darkened slightly. "Do you indeed." Was all he replied.

After a few minutes more Lucius suddenly asked, "And what, pray, is your background, Mr Fenwick?" Narcissa could tell this question had only just occurred to him. Lucius always liked to know if someone was not a pureblood, and she hoped for Benjy's sake that he was.

Benjy Fenwick seemed to know that the answer to this question would make or break his reputation with Malfoy. He paused in his work, and looked Lucius in the eye.

"I am Muggleborn, Mr Malfoy."

He then went back to his work, with a small smile playing about his lips. Lucius barely concealed a sneer.

"A Muggleborn, who painted the portrait of our Minister of Magic?"

"Indeed." Replied Benjy, concentrating once more on the painting.

Lucius looked as though he could not decide whether to be angry or scornful. He settled for both.

"It is rare that such as you enter this house, you know, Mr Fenwick. Had I know beforehand… The Malfoys have always only seen fit to entertain and employ wizards of the highest…" But here he was interrupted by Benjy.

"Would you be quiet please, Mr Malfoy, I am trying to paint your mouth."

Narcissa was quite true that Benjy was doing nothing of the sort, and concealed her amusement with difficulty. She was horrified to find herself almost laughing at Lucius in front of a near stranger. She admired Benjy for being so seemingly oblivious to Lucius' feelings however. He did not seem to care that he was Muggleborn, and cared less that he had just insulted one of the most influential men of the wizarding world.

Lucius was looking ferocious. He had no choice but to be silent but Narcissa knew that he was enraged. Still feeling a traitor at inwardly laughing with Benjy, Narcissa also felt a tinge of regret that he had done it. Benjy, after all, did not have to face Lucius afterwards.

They passed the rest of the sitting in silence, and when Benjy finally tapped his canvas to shrink it down to postcard size again Lucius stepped forward.

"You should watch your step, Fenwick." He sneered. "Do not go angering men who are able to squash you like a troublesome fly with only a moment's warning. I am sure you do not want to reach that rather messy end."

Lucius turned towards the door, and Narcissa could have sworn she heard Benjy mutter as Mr Malfoy walked away, "There are advantages to being a fly on the wall, Malfoy."

Lucius stopped at the door and turned. "Come, Narcissa. The elves will show you out, Mr Fenwick."

Narcissa turned rather helplessly towards Benjy, wishing she could apologize for her husband but knowing it was out of the question. However Benjy was looking at Narcissa and nodded slightly as though he understood. He reached out and shook her hand. "Until next time then, Mrs Malfoy."

Narcissa said nothing as he strode out past Lucius without giving him a second glance. A moment later she heard the sound of the floo and knew he was gone.

"Narcissa, we are dining with the Carrows tonight so be ready to leave at seven." Lucius said to her. "And do _try _and act like a good wife, Narcissa, I do not wish to have to punish you." He drawled, flicking his wand at her as he left the room and causing a sharp shot of pain to dash through her. "That is just a reminder…" he called as he walked away.

Narcissa balled her fists tightly so that her nails dug into the skin of her palms to prevent herself crying out at the pain. As she did so she realized a small piece of parchment was clutched in her fist.

With a sharp intake of breath she realized Benjy must have given it to her when he had shaken her hand. Looking up quickly to check that Lucius was gone, she unfolded it.

_I know I do a dangerous thing in writing you a note, but I must see you. Meet me in the Leaky Cauldron this Saturday at 3.00. It is not be safe to be recognized these days so take necessary precautions. It's a bitter wind outside._

_B.F _

Narcissa had no sooner finished reading the note than it turned before her eyes into fine dust, falling through her fingers to the floor.

* * *

_Coming soon: Chapter nine, a party with Bellatrix and much indecision._

**A/N: **

On a general note, thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed this story. It is your reviews which keep me updating.

**A point on Narcissa:** I really must stress that the Narcissa I am writing about is simply my interpretation of how Narcissa Malfoy is in the books. I wrote the plan for this story before book six came out, and there was very little information on Narcissa to be had (although in fact the information about her we receive in book six does not contradict my view). Consequently the context for this story is based almost entirely on my imagination. I do not believe that Lucius and Narcissa have a happy relationship, but that is just my opinion.

As to where you all think this story is going I love hearing your views. You all have some great ideas and I really enjoy reading what you think. Thank you so much for all your comments.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

The Lestranges' house was looking no less sinister than when Narcissa had last visited it when she and Lucius entered for the party. There were many witches and wizards present, sipping smoky drinks or whispering together. The atmosphere was very different to the respectable parties the Malfoys held. Bellatrix and Redolphus did not even try to appear respectable. They were known Death Eaters, and Narcissa knew the Ministry would do anything to get their hands on her sister. Narcissa suspected that at least half the wizards and witches present were Death Eaters like her husband and sister. Unafraid, Narcissa walked tall and proud, staring at people haughtily from under her long lashes. Lucius looked down at her approvingly. Everyone in the room knew Lucius and Narcissa. They were well known figures in most circles. It was not long before Lucius was drawn away into various conversations, plotting and laughing darkly. Through the heavy smoke and dimly flickering lights Narcissa could see Bellatrix surveying the scene from the opposite end of the room, her thin figure clad in another clinging red dress, a long cigarette in her hand. Narcissa walked over to her. Bellatrix saw her coming and smiled, revealing her pointy white teeth.

"Cissy, darling, so glad you could come." She reached over and their cheeks brushed in barely a kiss.

"Bella," purred Narcissa, as though nothing could delight her more than being with her sister at the party. "I hope the evening is as you had hoped?"

Bellatrix took a long drag on her cigarette and exhaled purplish smoke. She raised an eyebrow. "Everything is always as I want it." She replied. Glancing around her, she continued. "Just you wait, Cissy, there's some splendid entertainment later." Bella had an excited glint in her dark, heavy lidded eyes. "I am sure even you, with your rather prudish ways, will enjoy it."

Lucius slid over at that moment, and Bellatrix smiled widely at him, offering a jewelled hand which he raised to his lips to kiss.

"Lucius, my darling, how are you?" Bellatrix asked him, exhaling more purple smoke which made Narcissa's eyes water slightly.

"All the better for being here tonight, Bella," replied Lucius.

"The pleasure's always mine, Lucius." She said huskily. "Do come with me a moment, I have some splendid new acquisitions that I wish you to see. I doubt even Borgin has seen the likes of what I have found." She slipped an elegantly gloved arm through his and turned towards a door to their left. She paused and looked back at Narcissa who was staring back at her coldly. "Narcissa, Mother's here and no doubt will wish to see you. She's in the parlour with Sharatan and Ethelinda."

Narcissa said nothing as she watched her husband and sister's figures slip through a side door and out of sight. Then she turned slowly and made her into the hall and through to the parlour. As she did so she caught sight of a new portrait of Bellatrix and Redolphus. Portraits were obviously the thing to do these days. This reminded her sharply of Benjy Fenwick and the note he had left her. Narcissa had managed so far to put him out of her thoughts for the party. She needed to be on her best behaviour here, letting down her guard amongst this group of people was absolutely out of the question. But the note, the note… it was Friday evening now. Benjy had asked her to meet him on Saturday. She was mad, mad to be considering it. And yet…

A voice cut through her thoughts.

"Mrs Malfoy, I'm so glad to see someone I know." Narcissa turned in the direction of the voice, pushing all thoughts of Benjy Fenwick out of her head as she did so. It was Mrs Rosier, a young and very pretty witch recently married to Evan Rosier, another of Lucius' acquaintance.

"Good evening, Lucy," replied Narcissa politely. "I hope you're well?" Lucy Rosier had never struck Narcissa as particularly intelligent. The poor girl was hardly out of school; she had been a few years below Narcissa at Hogwarts. Evan Rosier had married her the year after she left, Narcissa rather suspected for her money and connections at the Ministry than anything else.

"Oh, I'm fine, Mrs Malfoy, thank you." Mrs Rosier giggled a bit nervously. She must only be nineteen. "Evan is with some of his friends in the other room, I don't think he wanted me around." Narcissa felt sorry for her, she knew exactly how she felt. Unlike Narcissa, however, poor Lucy Rosier had no skill at making herself appear what she was not. Always nervous and flighty, she could never seem cold and disdainful like Narcissa.

Mrs Rosier went on, "He's always so secretive, I never know what he's up to…" Narcissa shook her head sympathetically. She knew that Evan Rosier was a Death Eater, a relatively new one from what she picked up from Lucius. This was not common knowledge, however, and Narcissa suspected that even Lucy did not know her husband's decision to join the Dark Lord. Lucy looked too out of place in this gloomy mansion among the dark wizards of society.

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, Lucy." Narcissa said.

"Thank you, Narcissa, you're always so kind to me." Lucy looked slightly gloomy for a moment until she seemed to suddenly remember something. Glancing around them Lucy lowered her voice conspiratorially. "Did I told you my news, Narcissa?" She looked girlishly excited and reminded Narcissa of gossiping girls in the common room back at school. She could not believe this girl was married.

Lucy leaned in to whisper in Narcissa's ear. "I'm pregnant!" She stepped back and chewed her lip nervously, her eyes bright. Narcissa didn't know what to say. She tried her best to smile. "That's wonderful, I'm very happy for you."

Narcissa knew Lucius would find out about this soon enough, and it would only anger him further. Lucy, only nineteen and married a matter of months was already pregnant. She, Narcissa, had failed to produce Lucius an heir after three years of marriage. Heirs were the only thing that mattered to families like the Malfoys and the Blacks, and she had failed in her duty as a pure blood wife. Wizards were so medieval sometimes. Benjy was Muggle born, she remembered. Perhaps he was different. But no, she mustn't think about him.

Narcissa blinked and brought her thoughts back to the present and managed a more convincing smile for Lucy Rosier, who was looking at her anxiously. "Congratulations, Lucy." She said.

"Cissy, is that Cissy over there?" Came a posh and haughty sounding voice. Narcissa turned her head to where the voice had come from. It was her mother.

"Please excuse me," she said to Lucy, who nodded and left the room. Narcissa walked over to where a middle-aged witch was sitting on a sofa sipping a smoking green cocktail. "Good evening, Mother." Narcissa bent to kiss her mother on the cheek.

"Cissy, darling, how beautiful you look."

Narcissa straightened up again. "You're looking well, Mother."

"One must look well if one is to succeed, my dear." Replied her mother, tossing her head so that her glittering earrings caught the candlelight as she took a sip of her drink.

Narcissa nodded in response. She knew that rule well enough. Maintaining an image was all that mattered, it was true.

"I'm glad to see you. Your father's completely inebriated of course. And Sharatan's not far off. I left your father arguing about politics with my dear son in law Redolphus." Mrs Black smiled. "Bellatrix _has _done well for herself, hasn't she?" She mused, looking around the manor.

Narcissa felt irritated at this comment, old sibling rivalry firing up in her as of old, but she held her tongue, not wishing to argue with her mother, least of all in her sister's house with so many guests present.

"Sharatan and Ethelinda were here a minute ago, I'm sure you'd like to see them." Narcissa's mother went on. Narcissa had no such wish to see her aunt and uncle, but smiled politely.

"I hope Ethelinda is recovered from her illness?" She asked.

"Did someone say my name?" came a shriek of a voice from the gloom by the curtained window. A prematurely aged woman came into view, hobbling with a walking stick, followed by a handsome, proud looking man.

"Ethelinda, my dear Aunt, how are you?" Narcissa asked, managing to sound perfectly thrilled to see her least favourite relative.

"Ah! It's only you, Narcissa." Ethelinda chuckled to herself. "I thought maybe it was somebody important!" She poked Narcissa in the ribs and laughed some more. A drip of saliva trickled down her chin which she didn't notice.

"I hope you're feeling better, Ethelinda?" Narcissa asked, subtly stepping backwards, unwilling to get herself or her new silk robes very near her mad aunt.

"Never better than when at my favourite niece's gatherings, my dear." Narcissa's smile became even more fixed at yet another mention of how wonderful Bellatrix was. "She has done so well, hasn't she? You must be very proud of your sister."

"Of course, Aunt Ethelinda. Bellatrix is a credit to the family I am sure."

"Ah! Now here's a girl who knows the way to think." Mrs Black jabbed at Narcissa with her walking stick. "Bellatrix _is _a credit to the family. Mind you, you've not done badly yourself, Missy. Marrying a Malfoy, now that's the way to do things. Toujours Pur, that's us. Toujours pur." Mrs Black continued muttering to herself as she sat herself down next to her sister in law, Narcissa's mother. The contrast between them was quite striking, Narcissa's mother being far more like Narcissa, elegant, proud, beautiful, and looking about thirty five though she was nearing fifty. Narcissa's aunt on the other hand had suffered from an illness not long before and was looking years older as a result, and had suffered brain damage which rendered her even more mad than she had been before.

The handsome middle aged man who had walked over with Ethelinda now stepped forward.

"And how is my prettiest little niece?" He asked Narcissa, stepping forwards to kiss her. His hands squeezed around her waist for a moment longer than she would have wished as she politely offered her pale white cheek.

"Lovely to see you, Sharatan," said Narcissa, smelling fire whiskey on his breath and feeling slightly repulsed. He sat down on a sofa and gestured at the space next to him, which she obediently took.

Narcissa searched for something to say. "How is Regulus?" She asked.

He smiled at her, his eyes glinting. "I see your very thoughts my dear, don't be afraid to ask after _both_ my sons. I don't mind _your_ mentioning Sirius. _You _after all have similar embarrassment with Andromeda."

Narcissa glanced around hastily to check no-one had heard. She looked back at him a little uncertainly. Nobody mentioned Sirius or Andromeda in their family. Sharatan Black really must have had a lot to drink for him to be talking freely about Blacks his wife had blasted off the family tree.

"Sharatan, Sirius and Andromeda are disgraced and disowned. I will not talk about them happily."

"Such a good little girl, always so obedient to her parents' wishes." He patted her on the leg. "I wish my son had been a little more obedient to mine." Narcissa closed her eyes wishing to be elsewhere. She disliked thinking about Sirius for the same reason she disliked thinking about Andromeda. Both had so much freedom now; they had broken away from the tight Black family unit that demanded such conformity and purity.

"_Yes, that's us, Toujours Pur, always pure…" _Narcissa could hear her aunt's voice echoing in her head repeating the Black family motto over and over. _"Toujours Pur… Toujours Pur… The Black family will always be respected…" _Narcissa ignored her uncle who was now staring drunkenly at her mother's chest, and sank back into a reverie.

Narcissa had been a bridesmaid at her father's sister's wedding. Andromeda had been too, but Bellatrix had declared herself too old for such things. The two younger Black sisters had nervously walked along behind their aunt at the wedding, clutching their posies of flowers.

"Your aunt has made a fine match" She remembered being told. "Blacks always marry pure bloods, then we stay united and strong." At the time that had made her feel so powerful, so thrilled to be a Black. She and Andromeda had looked at each other, little girls of ten and eight, excited.

At that party she and Andromeda had played with Sirius and Regulus. Little children they had been then. That had been the year before Sirius started at Hogwarts. The year before any trouble began. The Black cousins used to play with one another all the time. Andromeda would play boys' parts, warrior wizards who fought in battles against evil powers. She and Sirius would be the heroes, duelling champions with long flying capes. She, Narcissa, always took the girls' parts. The fairy, the princess, the queen. Regulus was normally made to be whichever part Sirius rejected, and he came along grudgingly, feeling bullied but wanting to join in the older cousins' games all the same.

Narcissa sighed, longing for that time when she had no worries. It had all changed only a year later. Narcissa could still vividly remember the tense scene at home when they had all found out that Sirius had been sorted into Gryffindor, the shrieks of Ethelinda at Christmas when Sirius had said he liked it there. Narcissa had sobbed herself to sleep that night, certain she had lost her cousin forever. She was not far off. Only four years later and her cousin ran away from home to live with the Potters.

"You must never, ever, speak to Sirius again, Narcissa." Her mother had told her. "He's a traitor to the family, and is not worthy of you. You are a Black."

"So is he, Mother." Narcissa had timidly replied.

"Not any more."

And then only two years later, when Narcissa was entering her fifth year at Hogwarts, Andromeda had left Hogwarts and got married in secret to Ted Tonks. The shame this caused her family was unbearable. Narcissa shared in that shame, brought up so as to believe that all Muggles and Muggle borns were filth. She had only seen Andromeda once or twice since that time, and not for many years. Deep down, she supposed she missed her sister, but this was covered by too many layers of anger and resentment to ever show. Narcissa had been watched so closely from that time onwards, her parents and extended family wanting to ensure that there were no more embarrassing incidents in the family.

Her family had got their wish with her. Toujours Pur indeed she was, marrying a Malfoy when she was only a couple of years out of school. Toujours Pur. Benjy Fenwick was not a pure blood. Not that it mattered… it wasn't like she cared about him, was it?

Sighing, Narcissa brought herself back to the party and gazed around her, hoping no-one had noticed that she'd been lost in her thoughts. Most of the guests were too drunk to notice much. She stood up and slipped out of the room.

There was a lot of noise coming from one of the other rooms off the hall. She opened the door slowly and stepped inside. It took her a moment for her eyes to adjust to the smoky lighting in there, but after a moment she realised everyone had formed a ring around Bellatrix, who was lazily swinging her wand from side to side. She could see Lucius too, standing just behind her, pulling his excellent sneering smile. There was laughter in the crowd, and Bellatrix was smiling evilly. Only then did she realise that there was another figure in the middle of the circle. A pretty young boy, who, by the looks of his clothes, was a Muggle. Knowing instantly what was going on, Narcissa took a deep breath, calming herself. She took a step back towards the door but then Lucius saw her. He smiled at her and beckoned her over. Knowing she had to comply she pushed her thoughts and her feelings behind her mask, and smiled serenely as she made her way through the crowd towards her husband.

There was a crack and the little boy screamed. Bellatrix's laugh was the loudest as he flew up into the air to hover at their head level. Another crack from Bella's wand and Narcissa saw what looked like snakes, writhing under the boy's skin. Forcing her thoughts elsewhere than the boy's screams of pain and terror as one of the snakes burst through his terrified little mouth, Narcissa laughed and clapped along with the rest, hating herself for being too weak to do otherwise.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Lucius had still not returned from the party when Narcissa awoke the following morning. Ignoring whatever feelings of jealousy or bitterness she might feel at his staying at her sister's house without her, Narcissa dressed and ate her breakfast alone. Although unhappy as to the reason, Narcissa was actually glad that Lucius was not around, so tense did she feel about the possible meeting with Mr Fenwick later that day. She busied herself around the house all morning, putting the question of whether or not she would meet him out of her mind. She set an impossible list of tasks for the house elves to complete, she sent owls out to many of their friends inviting them for a dinner party in a fortnight's time, and she ordered a new set of robes. No matter how many petty tasks she did, however, she could not get Benjy's letter out of her head. By two o clock she knew a decision had to be made. She also knew that she'd already made it.

Hands trembling slightly as she opened the door into her dressing room, Narcissa took out her wand. First conjuring protective spells on the door incase her husband returned, Narcissa sat down in front of the mirror. She and her sisters were well practiced at charms of illusion and disguise. It had always been a favourite game of Andromeda's to make themselves appear as different characters, disguise themselves in different ways and surprise unsuspecting friends. Knowing it was far more effective, not to mention a great deal easier, to cast several simple spells than to do a full body transformation or brew polyjuice potion, Narcissa started on her hair. She turned it black with one swish of her wand, and cut it shorter with another so that it was in a striking bob around her ears. Her eyes she made rounder, giving her a more innocent look rather than her usual more calculating one, casting a few enlargement spells here and there, and some stretching spells, so that her face was subtly different all over. Narcissa's vanity was such that she was no less beautiful, but a beauty of a different kind. Knowing that full body enlargements were risky, Narcissa did not attempt to alter her height, but she smiled slightly at her own shallowness as she cast an engorgement charm on her breasts, which had always been smaller than she would have liked. Narcissa had never been a very powerful witch, and she knew that the charms she had put on herself would only last an hour or so, but she hoped this would be enough time to find Benjy without being recognized.

Standing in front of the full length mirror Narcissa carefully transfigured her rich silk robes into plainer, simple black ones that would go unnoticed. Then she donned a full length cloak, and pulled up the hood. No-one seeing her would have ever recognized Mrs Malfoy. Satisfied, she took a pinch of floo powder from the pot above her fireplace. Taking a deep breath, she tossed it into the grate and stepped in.

"The Leaky Cauldron!" She cried, and with a swirl of green flames, she was gone.

The Leaky Cauldron was very crowded. It was a Saturday afternoon and many wizarding families were out in London doing their shopping. Narcissa anxiously stepped amongst them, not wishing to attract anyone's attention as she looked around for Benjy. She knew she was being ridiculously cautious; nobody gave her a second glance, and even had she not been in disguise it was unlikely that anyone would have found the idea of Mrs Malfoy going to Diagon Alley a cause for suspicion. Still, Narcissa was terrified. She had never done anything that felt like such a betrayal of Lucius, and although he had not forbidden her to go to Diagon Alley whenever she wished, she was still horrified at the thought of what he would do to her if he found out she had gone to meet Mr Fenwick alone.

Making her way around a large group of teenage girls who were huddling together gossiping and examining each other's purchases, Narcissa spotted a cloaked man sitting alone at a table in the corner. Stepping closer she recognized Benjy under the hood, and walked towards him, trembling slightly. He stood up, looking at her with curious eyes, no doubt wondering if it were her.

Mustering her courage, she stepped up to him and spoke. "Mr Fenwick - " she began, but he cut her off with an abrupt shake of his head, and she saw him glance briefly to her left. Turning her head slightly in that direction Narcissa took a sharp intake of breath. Sitting at a table nearby were Mr and Mrs Rosier with a group of friends. They did not recognize her of course, but Narcissa was very relieved that she had taken so much trouble over her disguise.

Benjy looked at her intently, his dark eyes looking slightly suspiciously at her from behind his hair. "Please tell me, Madame, what is the weather like today?"

Narcissa caught on at once. Repeating the words of his letter, she said softly. "It is a very bitter wind outside."

Benjy smiled and beckoned her to follow him as he turned with a swish of his cloak and made his way outside to the small courtyard behind the pub. Narcissa did not know what to think as she followed him into Diagon Alley. She knew she was mad. She knew that she was crazy to be meeting this man, a man who her husband now openly disliked, and yet something about him pulled her, attracted her even. She hopelessly followed his clicking boots down the cobbled street.

He turned and waited for her to fall in step beside him, and then he spoke in a low voice.

"I must tell you how glad I am you came. I thought you would not dare."

Narcissa smiled at him. "I did not think I would dare either. I think I have lost my mind."

Benjy laughed at that. "No, I think you have only just _found _your mind, Mrs Malfoy."

Narcissa cast a quick worried glance around her to check nobody had heard her name mentioned. Nobody was paying them any attention, however. Benjy smiled at her concern. "It is quite all right, I have cast a silencing bubble around us. Nobody can hear us."

"Oh!" Narcissa felt slightly foolish that she had not noticed him doing this, but was impressed at his skill. She relaxed however, and felt less anxious now that the threat of discovery seemed so small. "But please, call me Narcissa."

Benjy smiled and lead them on, though Narcissa thought he looked slightly troubled as he continued along the street. It was hardly surprising, in these days it was dangerous to be seen out and about with strangers, nobody knew who to trust. Narcissa herself could not stop feeling slightly worried despite all their precautions. What was she doing here anyway? Why did he even want to meet her, especially under such secrecy?

They turned a corner and left the bustle of Diagon Alley. He was leading her along a row of smaller shops and houses with a more battered look, in contrast to the bright and shining shop fronts of the main street. They walked for a while in silence, Narcissa hoping they would reach their destination soon as she was anxious about her illusion spells lasting. At last he stopped in front of a small building with some paintings on display in the window. Benjy tapped the door handle and muttered some words under his breath before pushing it open. He gestured her in before him. Inside it smelt strongly of paint and varnish, and Narcissa gasped as she looked around. Every wall was covered in beautiful paintings, most of them finished, though some standing on easels only partly completed. In the corner stood a small stove and a table with two battered chairs. Through a door the other side of the room Narcissa could see a small bedroom. A tatty looking brown owl blinked down at her beadily from its perch high up in a corner.

"This," said Benjy, "is my studio." He finally took down the hood of his cloak and ran a hand through his messy hair. He still looked very anxious.

"It's… wonderful." Breathed Narcissa.

"I thought you might like to see this." Benjy said, walking over to one of the easels and turning it around so she could see. Narcissa drew in her breath. It was the painting of her and Lucius. It was not yet complete; Narcissa knew they still had one more sitting to do, and only parts of the painting were done in detail. Lucius was almost complete, his face exactly his usual sneer. Narcissa looked at her own representation in the painting however, and saw that only her robes were done in detail. Her face at present was only a watery blur. Benjy saw where she was looking.

"Yes, your face has caused me some difficulty. You are so… cold and severe, yet I did not want to paint you that way, not when I can see past that." Narcissa looked sharply at him then looked away, embarrassed, as he caught her eye. "Your husband on the other hand…" Benjy continued, "he was a very easy subject. Nothing about his feelings are concealed and I had no difficulty capturing his character." Narcissa turned away from the painting. She felt extremely uncomfortable looking at the painting of her husband, as though his glinting eyes meant that the real Lucius was watching her too. Then she felt her hair grow heavier and knew that her charms were at last failing. Benjy looked at her as her hair grew longer and turned back to its usual blonde. Narcissa closed her eyes as her appearance changed back to normal. Under Benjy's gaze she felt exposed, naked.

She jumped slightly as she felt Benjy's hand brush her arm, and she opened her eyes.

"Narcissa… you are so beautiful, I wish you knew it."

Nobody had ever expressed that desire to Narcissa before. She had a reputation for being rather vain, and all the Black sisters had always known they were beautiful. Benjy seemed, once again, to read her thoughts.

"External beauty is one thing, Narcissa. I mean I wish you knew how beautiful you are on the inside. Nobody knows you, Narcissa. You are so oppressed, and… and I can't bare it." He turned away from her with frustration and walked over to the window. Narcissa did not know what to do, she felt like crying, but held herself together. She was well practiced at remaining composed.

Benjy spoke from the window. "I know what you are doing. I know you are trying your best to appear cool and calm towards me, Mrs Malfoy." Narcissa said nothing. She felt horribly exposed, embarrassed, and would have felt angry at being so easily read if she didn't feel such shock at his ability to do so. "Why do you do it?" Benjy asked. "Why do you do this to yourself?" He turned around, fierce passion in his eyes. Narcissa did not respond. He walked over quickly and held her by the shoulders. "Why wear that mask?" Narcissa flinched as he shook her slightly.

"Please… don't…"

Benjy dropped his arms at once in shock. "Dear Merlin, I am not going to hurt you." He glared at the painting before them. "I am not like some men."

Lucius' eyes glinted back at them, they were both acutely aware of his name, unmentioned between them.

The two remained silent for a minute, frozen like the unfinished paintings. Then Narcissa moved. "I must get back to my husband… he will expect me…"

Benjy closed his eyes.

"I am sorry…" Narcissa whispered. He opened his eyes again.

"What are you sorry for?" He asked.

"I…" Narcissa began, "I don't know…"

"Do you know why I wanted you to meet me?" Benjy asked, his eyes fierce once more as he took a step towards Narcissa, who was pale and weak in comparison. "I can see into you, Narcissa. I can understand you… and…" He turned away again, seemingly unable to get the words out.

"And… what?" whispered Narcissa, dreading and desperately wanting the rest.

"And… I am falling in love with you."

Their eyes met, Narcissa trembling slightly as his words repeated over and over in her head.

"I _know _you do not feel indifferent to me, as you would have your husband believe. I so want you to break away, to stand up to him, to defend yourself… because you are worth defending."

Some inexplicable feeling welled up inside Narcissa, making her want to sob into this man's chest. But she couldn't, she mustn't break down.

"I… I can't. I can't, Benjy, I am too weak."

"You're not weak, Narcissa, I remember you and your sisters from school, though I doubt very much if you remember me. But I remember the Black sisters, and they were not weak."

"You remember Bellatrix, or Andromeda. You don't remember me. I was never strong without the others." Narcissa closed her eyes, and went on. "I am not strong enough to stand up to Lucius… you don't know what he'd do to me."

She made to turn away but Benjy seized her and pulled her to him, and before she knew what was happening he was kissing her. For the briefest moment part of Narcissa was telling her to pull away, to stop; it was too dangerous, it was wrong. But Narcissa couldn't help it, she was falling in love with this man. She pushed all her thoughts out of her head and kissed him back, and to her surprise felt her face grow wet with tears at the bliss of being kissed by somebody she loved, who loved her. Benjy was not cruel, or demanding, and Narcissa could barely contain the wave of emotions overtaking her.

A sudden noise in the street brought Narcissa to her senses and she pulled away, slightly breathless. "I must go… I must leave… Lucius will be expecting me…"

Benjy nodded. "Narcissa… promise me you'll come again… tell me you'll meet me again."

Narcissa looked pained. "I can't… I don't know… Lucius…" she whispered. She caught sight of the clock on Benjy's wall that told her she'd been away for two hours. Narcissa was terrified that Lucius would find out where she'd been. Not wanting to use up more time redoing all the illusion charms, Narcissa tucked her long blond locks into her cloak and pulled up the hood so that very little of her face was visible. Benjy watched her in silence. She turned to him when she was ready. "I must leave, you must understand. I have no choice."

"I know." He replied. "I know. But I can't bare to think of you suffering."

Narcissa held his gaze for a moment longer, then turned and hurried out into the street.

* * *

_Thank you for reading, please review._

_Coming soon: Chapter 11_

_Will Narcissa make it back to Lucius without being seen? Will Lucius suspect anything? And will she see Benjy again? _

_Just some things to ponder on... please review and let me know what you think._


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